Iowa Martins in Albania

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Notary--an expensive joke.

            Yesterday, I needed to get my signature on a document notarized.   I looked on the internet to find some places that provide this service, and there were many.  I chose one nearby.  I entered the UPS Store to find Jack in comfortable jeans and a t-shirt.  I don’t mind people being comfortable, and I don’t think you have to wear a suit to have credibility, but Jack’s relaxed attitude and flippant demeanor did not engender trust and seriousness.  He did not have an air of responsibility about him. 

            “I need to get my signature notarized on this document.”  Jack was ready and willing as he handed me a pen.  I looked through the four pages and found the signature line.  I signed.  He immediately took out his little ink pad and stamp, applied the seal, signed and dated the paper. 

            As he was working, I asked what it takes to become a notary.

            “Well, you have to apply.”

            “Oh,” I said, “’cause I heard a couple years ago that all you had to do was pay some money.”

            “Yeah,” he smiled, “they’ve added some requirements. You have to take a test about the state and stuff.”

            “I test about the state,” I repeated, “what do you mean?”

            “I don’t know,” he answered curtly, obviously not interested in my questions.

            “Ahhh,” I said. 

            “$7.95,” he said.

            We finished our transaction and I added, “…but you took it?”

            “Ah, yeah,” he said with a smile, “I passed and I’m certified.

            I was not satisfied, but I turned to go.  Then I thought of something. “Well shouldn’t you have asked for my license or ID or something?”

            “Oh, I trust ya.  Yeah, I trust ya.”

            I went out the door.  A minute later, I thought, “How can he trust me?  He’s never seen me before!  If he trusts me, then he trusts everyone who walks in his shop.  And that means that his trust doesn’t mean a thing!”

            So I understand that the system of notarizing something is a complete farce.


Monday, January 16, 2012

chess and math homework


            I took advantage of a day of no school today by Skyping with the boys.  I set Maxim up with an account on chess.com.  We played live until he had to finish his homework.  I have sent him an invitation to play a ‘correspondence’ game in which when we go online, we send a move to the other.  It could take quite a while to finish a game.  We are both pretty excited about it. The great thing was that we had Skype going at the same time and we could talk as if we were right next to each other.

            The next thing I did was to check my credit card and I saw that Greyhound had charged me AGAIN for a disputed charge that I had taken care of in November.  This all started when I returned after my bus trip to find that they had charged me three times for the bus ticket; - $246.99,- $246.99, and -$246.99.  The bus company does not have an 800 number that people can call, so I have to pay for every minute.  After hanging online for 9 minutes and then 10 minutes, I directed all my problems to Sears the credit card company.  They gave me provisional credit while they investigated.  +$246.99 +$246.99

            Pretty soon, I got two letters from Sears.  I sent answers to the letters, but I put them in the same envelope.  Hence, they verified one credit, but the next month, I was charged again. 

-$246.99. So I sent another letter.  On November 30, Sears gave me another +$246.99.  Everything is good, right?  Nope.  December 20, Greyhound charged me again.  -$246.99.  So I called Sears and they told me about the letter they sent on the 20th of Dec.  It must be sitting in the Panora post office.  I need to respond by Wednesday or I have to do a ‘good faith’ complicated claim.  So…I wrote another letter and faxed it in.  We will see.

            While I was on hold with Sears, Maxim called me.  He needed help with his math.  “OK.  What’s up?”

            “I’ll read it,” he says.  “Mr. Johnson has 69 rose plants.  He has 6 people in his company and he wants to give each one the same number of plants.  How many does each one get?”

            “What do you need to do?”

            “I don’t know!”

            “Well…what do you think you need to do?”

            “69 divided by 6.”

            “Yep, I’ll be right back.  I’m on hold with the credit card company.”  The thing about being on the phone from 7000 miles away, there is no time for details.  Maxim probably likes it because I don’t ask so many questions.

            I went to the other call and the woman is right in the middle of, “…for waiting Mr. Martin.  I am Jody from the disputed claims department and I see…”  So I stepped right into that conversation seamlessly.  When I understood that Greyhound was trying to say that they tickets were non-refundable, I told her how it was quite obvious that I did not want to buy three tickets for the same trip. 

            “Oh well, they just want to know if you want to continue with the dispute.”

            “Of course!  What do they think I’m an idiot?”

            “No sir.  This is just procedure. No one is presuming anything.”

            “It’s obvious that I am stuck in a bureaucratic jungle.  I’m sorry. What needs to happen now?”  When she explained that I would need to get the letter from the post office—probably tomorrow—and then send it back. I explained that I would probably not be able to get the mail tomorrow because I will be working out of town.  I asked what information I need to give and then I could fax the letter.  She said that would be fine. 

            After all this mess, I got back to Maxim.  He was calm and finished with the first problem.  “Ok.  The next one is this:  Jerry has 35 sticks of gum.  He wants to give the same amount to his three kids and keep the rest for himself.  How many will he keep?”

            “What do you think?”

            “35 divided by 3 and the quotient is the answer.”

            “Nope.” (this straight answer is what I mean about not asking many questions.  Normally, I say, “What do you think?  Is that the answer you need?)

            “35 divided by 3 and the remainder is the answer.”

            “Right.  See you knew how to do it.”

            We were about to say goodbye when Oskar said, “Wait, wait, Papa!  I need help on my homework, too!”  I could hear him getting his papers.  “There is a blank, and an 18, then two blanks, and a 24.  What do I do?”

            “I’m not sure.”  I had to think of something that might give me a clue what he was doing.  “How big are the blanks?”

            Maxim read the directions.  “Skip count by 2.  Which number goes in the blank?”

            “Oskar, what is 18 plus two? …”  

            “31?”

            “Oskar, let’s count from 10 to 20…10, 11, …Now, let’s count two more after 18.”  So we had mild success.

            By now, Maxim has written me a note thanking me for the help. 

[11:46:55] Maxim Martin: thank you for helping :)

[11:47:33] James Martin: I am happy to help.  Can you help Oskar?

[11:47:40] James Martin: I'm having a tough time.

[11:48:00] James Martin: I think you will be able to do it more easily

[11:49:30] Maxim Martin: yes i will

            So I ended up getting Maxim to help Oskar.  I’m actually not sure that Oskar needed help.  He was probably watching Maxim talking with me while we were setting up and playing the chess game and wanted a little time with me.  Maybe I will be able to get them both interested in playing…

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Best New Year's Party

The Best New Year’s party.

            In the afternoon on 31 December, the boys and I were walking down the street—crowded with happy people, and a few beggars.  At each step, if you took a 360° sweep of the area 9 times out of 10, you would see someone carrying a full-grown turkey by its feet.  The neck would look like a snorkeler’s pipe and it twisted itself to see what’s ahead, probably unwary of the butcher’s knife waiting around the corner.  
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Sunday, January 01, 2012

Running

1 January 2012

             48.11 seconds   I think this is my new record for the trip up the hill.  It certainly felt like a new record.  I gave it ALL my energy ALL the time, with no pain, running on my toes, trying to make the least possible amount of contact with the ground.  It’s possible that I could improve my time if I found a running surface without bumps, broken concrete, potholes and mud puddles.  As is, I need to select where I am going to place each step. 

            I woke up today in Oskar’s room where we laid down last night at 2 am.  He, with 6 layers of blanket and me, with two.  At 7:00, I changed my clothes into my running outfit.  I wear a t-shirt and un-insulated, thin nylon pants and a pair of gloves.  This way, I don’t sweat as I run and I can wear the same clothes every day. 
At school--3 pullups

            As I left the house, I found my glasses because I can’t read the iPod without them.  I flipped through the playlists and found one that was automatically created—the mechanism by which this is done, I don’t know.  It started with the Newsboys and some kind of ‘praise’ song—it has a fantastically motivational beat.  Then it goes into Barry Manilow for a few songs, and I thought, “What the heck?  I’ll try Barry as a running partner.”  Turns out that he’s terrific.  As I was doing my 40-minute jog before the final sprint, I sang along to Even Now, and Mandy, and Ships.  Jump, Shout, Boogie made me want to punch the air and slap high 5s with an imaginary dude hanging from the trees.            

Random door frame -- 5 pullups
Tree branch -- 7 pullups
Bar in tree-- 9 pullups

            I ran through the park to a disused amphitheater with crumbling concrete seats.  I had been doing pull-ups here for months on a metal tower to the side.  This was the first day that I walked around it and noticed the metal steps of a ladder.  I climbed up to a platform about three stories above.  It was a tad unstable as the tower continued to sway as stood on top.  I wasn’t sure whether the movement was due to the nature of the decaying tower or to my shaky knee syndrome that is the last residue of my tractor accident 25 years ago.  Some might saw my obsession with Barry Manilow would also fit into that ‘residue’ category.

random doorway for future entrance to something

Maxim at the top.

 

tree branch -- 7 pullups
door frame --5
school -- 3

Maxim -- self portrait

            The last song on the playlist finished in the middle of my final uphill—it was “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight” by England Dan and John Ford Coley.  I could never understand the words to this song.  I thought it was, “I’m not talkin’ bought my lid in.”  I looked on the internet and it’s “I’m not talkin’ ‘bout movin’ in.”  When I listen for those words, they are clear. 

            The internet—how would we live without it?  Just move along in a cloud of misunderstanding, I guess.

On Januray 3, I ran 48.51 seconds.  In my ears this time was Toby Keith's "I Should've been a Cowboy"  Maybe I would have achieved a better result if the next song, "Waka Waka" by Shakira from the 2010 soccer world cup would have come along.
           

Happy New Year!


These videos were taken in Tirana, Albania on the evening of December 31, 2011.